Friday, February 25, 2011

What's in a name?

As you may know, Sunday brings us the Academy Awards, and I know at least one [tk]er has seen all ten Best Picture nominees. Embarrassingly, I've only seen three--and yet there are ballots to fill out and contests to win!

In the absence of actual knowledge, I'm resorting to what I do best: playing with words. Using only the ancient art of the anagram (with the help of an online generator), then, let's try to predict what film will win Best Picture.

Black Swan: Bawl Snack

Dim tidings for Natalie Portman: the anagram generator predicts two things she'll be doing on Oscar Night (however unlikely the latter). Black Swan will not win.

The Fighter: Get He Firth

I didn't think The Fighter was anyone's first choice for this category, but the anagram generator predicts otherwise! The dark horse of the Oscar race is gunning, it appears, to take out critical darling The King's Speech.

Inception: Nice in Top
Despite losing much of its initial Oscar steam, looks like Inception is among the likeliest contenders for the throne. The generator's diction is peculiar here, however: while we'd have to seriously consider Inception's taking Best Picture if it was "on top," being "in top" makes me think that it will lose, closely. Still, with this movie, who's to say what "on top" even means?

[The] Kids Are All Right: Harried Gals Kilt

It's unlikely, if possible, that the anagram generator expects Annette Bening and Julianne Moore to show up to the Oscars in kilts. No, I suspect this means the "harried gals" and their mostly lackluster (with the exception of Mark Ruffalo) movie will be kilt by the competition.

The King's Speech: Henpecks Eights

The anagram generator predicts--to no one's surprise--that The King's Speech will push aside most contenders--with the exception of one.

127 Hours: no anagram

The length of this title spelled out broke the anagram generator, exceeding the site's capacity. Let's assume that James Franco's manic energy--and any excess from director Danny Boyle--will similarly confound the Academy.

[The] Social Network: A Stricken Wool

Well, this bodes poorly for the flannel-robed Jesse Eisenberg. Sorry, Jesse, looks like The Social Network is out, although perhaps you'll win Best Actor for playing "a cloister wonk."

Toy Story 3: Tether Story Yo

It was always unlikely that Toy Story 3 would win, and the anagram generator throws in another harsh, yet valid, point--as others have pointed out, from what exactly is Toy Story 3's screenplay adapted? That story is untethered, yo.

True Grit: Trite Rug

I disagree with the generator on this, but what can you do? Looks like the Academy will wipe its feet with this one.

Winter's Bone: Newbies Torn

Good try!

The anagram generator is of necessity a bit vague, but I think we can determine a winner here. While it looks to be a close race among Inception, The King's Speech, and The Fighter, Inception is simply not "on top," and The King's Speech only beats eight of its competitors. Let's not forget, either, that The Fighter is a story of hard-won and somewhat unexpected success. Against all odds, The Fighter will win Best Picture.

Don't look at me: it's all in the names.

1 comment:

  1. This blog post is made of WIN.

    Joey, you rock!